As a side note, the night we read our essays to each other was the night I broke my elbow and I wouldn't let Brian take me to the hospital until after I'd gone to this beautiful evening of essays. And it was a beautiful evening...I left feeling so touched.
If you love reading essays about motherhood from people you've never met, my friend wrote a great one on breastfeeding and posted it on her blog here and another friend wrote a touching one one discovering what love is and posted it on her blog here. Another of my friend's wrote a great one on the magic of reading to your children, but she hasn't posted it on her blog yet. I'll update this when she does. And, here's a link to my favorite one from the Listen to Your Mother blog. It is so funny. It gets me every time. :)
Anyway, here's my essay. I titled it: "Moments".
Some days are hard.
(Let’s be honest: most days are hard.)
Like the day I went in to check on my napping daughter and discovered that she had decorated her body, bedspread, carpet, and walls of her room with poop, unwashable purple marker, and diaper rash cream.
Or the time that I woke up in the middle of the night by my crying son and when I went to check on him, discovered that his diaper had blown out, because I had a handful of poop…on my bare hands. And the power had gone out, so it was pitch black. I had a crying baby, a handful of poop, a diaper to change, two kids that I was trying not to wake up in the same room, and I couldn’t see anything.
Or the day my daughter chose to climb on the table, even though she wasn’t supposed to, and when I went to get her off, she knocked a chair on my foot, sending me to the emergency room.
Or the day I was editing a speech to give on motherhood, while recovering from a massive migraine headache, and my kids wouldn’t stop screaming, and then I fell down the stairs and broke my elbow… J
Yes. Some days are hard. Now that my kids are getting older, I’m discovering the hard days when my children can’t stand me or each other. When nothing is fair. When I have four children demanding my attention and dinner burning on the stove and a house that’s so disorganized you risk your life walking across the floor. And I just want to scream and cry and hide in my bed for a day..or a year!!
But…there are moments. Oh there are moments so sweet I can hardly think of them without tearing up. There are moments so funny (for no reason at all) they can always make me smile. There are moments so happy that I can hardly contain the emotions inside of me and I usually burst out yelling, “I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!
These moments are what I live for. These moments remind me that I have the best. Job. Ever.
Some moments are every day moments:
When my sweet baby wakes up from her nap and I walk into the room and her face lights up and I know that I am her favorite person in the world.
When I sit on the couch and my children snuggle right up next to me and we read and read and read and they beg me not to stop.
When my two year old yells, “hug and kiss!” and gives me the sweetest little hugs and kisses.
When my daughter and I play a game of cards together and she talks to me about her hopes and dreams…her worries and fears.
When I wake up to a special note slid under my door or go to sleep and find one under my pillow.
When one of my children takes my hand as we’re walking along.
Any time I hear my children sing.
Or any time one of those sweet voices tells me that they love me.
Some moments come from activities we do as a family:
When we go camping or hiking and we skip rocks and play in waterfalls and creeks and enjoy nature together.
When we have dance parties and bust out our sweet (and not so sweet) dance moves.
When we cheer each other on in whatever we’re doing, from soccer to final exams to learning how to ride a bike.
When my kids play nicely together and I see what good friends they are.
When we stay up late and catch fireflies, or talk and giggle, or read one more chapter in a book, or just enjoy being together.
Oh those moments!! An apostle in my church, Elder M. Russell Ballard, once declared, “The joy of motherhood comes in moments.” I remind myself of that every day.
When no one likes dinner, when the laundry has been sitting in its baskets for more than a week (or two) waiting to be folded, when everyone’s fighting, when no one’s going to sleep at night, when no one wants to listen, when I get woken up at five in the morning for the sixth year in a row, when my child screams bloody murder in the middle of the night because her Care Bear is on the floor…..when I discover that poop has leaked from a diaper all over my entire house…I remember those moments.
Those moments are what I live for. And they definitely make life worth living.
Yes, life is hard. Every day. But within each day are moments that remind me what a divine calling motherhood is and what a gift I have been given to have such wonderful, hard days.